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SOLUTIONS FROM THE HEART

PERSONAL GROWTH IS A JOURNEY

If I Were You…

If I were you and you were me,

How simple life would be.

Your life is charmed,

From what I can see.

 

Social media tells me so.

and so I believe.

That only I must have shadows,

in the corners of my soul.

 

But when I meet you face to face.

Look into your eyes and see your heart.

I see the shadows lurking there.

You are me and I am you.

 

The demons of media playing tricks on my mind.

Challenging my identity at every turn.

But I am me, and you are you.

Both with a perfectly imperfect life.

 

 

 

 

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Pivot Points

I was thinking about this yesterday….how each thing that happens in life that derails us from our path is a pivotal moment of learning. When events arise that change our course….good or bad. It changes the direction and the momentum of our life path.

Pivotal moments are important. They are learning opportunities. I know personally that I am practicing now to stop when they occur and sort through it instead of allowing them to make me do a 180. Thus setting my course in life back to a default point.

I am working on stopping, breathing, assessing….then taking action, movement towards the next step. This isn’t easy. My habit has always been fight or flight, and sometimes fight and flight!

Learning to pause into the lesson being presented is a new experience. But one I am finding very helpful as I am very tired of starting over at a reset point from the past. Letting limiting beliefs and a stunted value system rule over how my life progresses is a behavior that becomes a bad habit. An excuse to fail. A bad habit that I am learning to overcome. As with all tough lessons….getting it perfect every time is unrealistic. Celebrating each small victory and each time the reset point is closer to the present than it was before….is success.

Living in the present and moving forward, not giving power to thought patterns that set me back in time is a challenge. But, I am finding that my reset point doesn’t go back as far as it used to. In time…..I have hope that that pivotal points in life will turn into a graceful pirouette resulting in transitioning into the next step in life with ease and poise.

Looking back over life I recognize many pivot points that set me off on paths of learning that now I recognize for what they are. Forty years later some of them! Slow Learner?! But I now recognize that each pivot point was a part of my journey to who I am. Who I am is F’n amazing.

I take those lessons in life now and assimilate them into who I am. Vulnerable yet strong. Caring but not a pushover. I am not defined by what was done TO me…..I am defined by what I choose to do with the experiences of life.

Pivot points are learning curves. It is our choice whether we repeat the lesson….or get a passing grade….or optimally, take that learning curve and own it and pass with flying colors.

 

 

Free To Be Me

There is only one person I know how to be. Me.

There is only one person I can change. Me.

There in only one person I can control. Me.

There is only one entity I answer to. God.

I am free to be me….the only person I know how to be.

 

 

Love With My Heart….Not My Head

I had an epiphany yesterday. I woke up recalling a very strange dream and to top it off I wasn’t feeling at all well. Chills, sleepy, head stuffed with cotton….altogether terrible. I am a big believer that our physical symptoms are a clue to our emotional state. But I wasn’t in the mood to explore that yesterday. I preferred to nap and snuggle in a cozy blanket…which is in itself therapy.

Finally,  last night after a discussion with my boyfriend who is following my lead and exploring the emotional aspects of our physical ailments….I decided I needed to try and sort this all out.

I laid down on the bed and put on some soothing, relaxing music and asked that I please receive a more clear idea of what I was missing. I held my hands to my head and asked that the Reiki energy help me sort through this muddle of unwellness.

Finally as I lay still. Calming my mind and my breathing…..I came to realize that I needed to shut my brain off more often. Overthinking things has long been a bad habit of mine. Making little things HUGE. Analyzing what things REALLY mean. It doesn’t matter….

Love with my heart and not my head ….that was my epiphany. It makes things so simple. Don’t rationalize and analyze….just love. Love heals all. Love of ourselves, others, friends, foes, strangers….love is the magic potion that makes the world bright.

I woke up this morning my voice intact, my head clear, ambition firing and ….loving with my heart. I put my mind to better use reading, learning, writing, growing …..working on me being my best me.

Who Says I Can’t!

Every day we are met with decisions. Decisions as simple as what to have for breakfast and as complicated as letting go of limiting beliefs.

It sounds like it would be easy to trash old stuff that is no longer needed in life. But in the same way we can struggle with parting with our favorite old blue jeans that are ripped torn and don’t even fit any more…..we can struggle to toss out old emotions that are counter productive to our emotional wellness.

We have received messages from various sources all of our lives. Some of these messages have been damaging and detrimental to achieving the abundance that we all deserve. Those little voices that remind us that we should be practical and realistic….not set our sights too high. The niggling feelings of anxiety that occur when we think big or dare to dream because that challenges the comfort zones we have established for ourselves to stay safe. To make sure that we are loved and accepted by those that helped us limit ourselves to not stepping out of the box.

Well….that is not the way we are meant to live. We are meant to believe we are capable and deserving of reaching for the stars and grabbing one….or a dozen ….or more. We are meant to utilize our unique abilities and talents in the most amazing ways we can dream of.

Put all those little messages that say you can’t on sticky notes…..then….ceremoniously burn them. Then…..put all your hopes, dreams and passions on a vision board and make reaching for the stars and living your life with zest and passion and grabbing stars your new vision.

 

Procrastination……The Fear of Failure

As with every transition in life we have to stop and reflect on where we have been….where we are going. At times we have to face fears and shortcomings. Examining what the root cause of that fear is.

I have had many situations occur this past year that I had no control over. I had to lean in and support others in their personal battles. This meant that my life got put on hold. I don’t resent that ….it is life.

Now that those situations have resolved I find myself trying to get back to my life. What is that? What does it look like? What do I want it to look like? I have been struggling to regain equilibrium in life. In self examination I had to recognize that I was procrastinating about almost everything.

I could keep busy all day long doing ‘things’. But not the ‘THINGS’ that I had on my dream list. For some reason I had a hard time recognizing the things I wanted as important. I finally realized that because I have come to see accomplishment in terms of visual or externally acknowledged activities. Why?

I realized that I had blocks regarding success. Procrastination was a form of avoiding failure. By keeping busy with things I could SEE completed I avoided pursuing my less tangible goals.

I avoided the fear that I might fail. I avoided the emotions that were attached to those goals.  I finally had to face the root of that fear ….ask myself if I was going to live in fear or reach for the stars.

I finally had to face the reality of what my procrastination habit was all about and decide to take steps to overcome it. Live by the words I say all the time….the only failure is in  not trying.

Limited By Self Limiting Beliefs

Have you ever thought….my passions are for my spare time…a hobby…when I have time? Accomplishing my dreams is for tomorrow? Maybe you too are plagued by self limiting beliefs.

Somewhere along the line we heard something that taught us that dreaming big was not realistic….not practical….for others. We perhaps received the message not to set our sights too high, lest we be disappointed.

I was told once that I needed to be more realistic. That my dream was too big for a country girl like me. So I set forth in life doing practical things and accomplishing tasks that were measurable by other peoples standards so that I would be recognized for accomplishments that would garner me praise by those that supported a limiting belief system.

The dreamer still existed and every now and then burst out exploding the bubble I was living in and shook things up. But without purpose….the big dream was a distant memory. After a period of aimless wandering I would fall back to what I knew…..getting by day to day.

I have been taking faltering steps towards my dream…purpose…vision. I have been plagued with road blocks and detours and learning curves.

I had an epiphany today….I was still plagued by the limiting belief system. I wasn’t settled into the accomplishment of my dream. I was treating it like a hobby….trying to fit it into my spare time instead of fitting other things around accomplishing my dream. I was busy…busy being busy at tangible tasks that were visible to the naked eye as accomplishments. But doing nothing to nurture the essence of my spirit. I was still caught up in the old message of my dream being too big ….and unattainable for a country girl like me.

But this country girl is gonna dream big and reach for the stars and accomplish her dreams…no dream is too big!

 

When Your Heart Breaks

When your heart breaks the pieces get scattered to the wind. Maybe that is why you can always hear voices in the wind calling you. Asking you to listen and look for the bits scattered far and wide.

The fragmented pieces are everywhere you look and in everything you see. The memories waft past in disarray waiting to be gathered up and put back together. Even when you have gathered all the pieces …..they have to be assembled and then reconnected. Never quite the same as they were before.

Little scarred seams crisscross the surface as you put the pieces back together. Are they stronger? Sometimes….it depends on what you have used as adhesive. If one uses glue of love maybe they are. If one uses tears…that dilutes the glue….then likely not.

Broken hearts can mend….forgiveness and love can mend all. Time diminishes the etching of the scars. Love can bathe the scars in a soulution of healing. Forgiveness dries up the oozing infection of hurt. Letting go of the why and just following the guidance within makes pieces fit together again and work harmoniously.

Redefining Me

Every so often we have to take stock of our lives. What is working….what isn’t? What has changed….what hasn’t? What do we want to change? Where have we been…..where are we going?

It is all a matter of thinking about the big picture. Keeping our eye on the end goal and making choices that support that outcome. There are times when we are derailed by life and circumstances.

Last February my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer. The focus I had on my business and personal goals immediately shifted. My focus redirected to specialist appointments, visits to cheer him up, finally surgery and then ultimately his funeral. The period of time that was spent travelling to hospitals etc in the weeks of his care were a blur of emotions and my long term goals were no longer visible.

The time has come that I need to refocus on where I am going. It isn’t easy. Another wave of emotions rolls over me as I consider my career in wellness. Guilt that I couldn’t help him more. Guilt at the thought of putting out happy positive vibes to promote wellness and balance when inside I am still crumbling.

I have to refocus and rebalance my own energy. I know that dad would want me getting back in the saddle. He always made me get back on when I got bucked off. Giving up or in was never in his vocabulary.

So as I sit here and allow myself to dream again….I realize that the busyness has been a way of avoiding dreaming. I have started and finished projects that were never on my to do list just to avoid thinking or feeling. I have cried and laughed and cried some more. It is time to move forward.

How do I know this? Interpreting what my body is telling me…..paying attention to my dreams…..listening to my heart and shutting out the chatter of my mind.

My mind wants to tell me there is an acceptable grieving period. My mind wants to tell me that it is too soon to be having happy thoughts. My mind….the enemy of tranquility is trying to manipulate me into losing sight of where I am going.

My heart says….life is a series of experiences. Each one helps us grow in some way. I need to add this experience into the bag of tricks and take the understanding of grief to help me be a better wellness practitioner.

I was asked awhile ago….’What do you want to do?’ I was so busy trying to keep busy that I had lost focus on what I wanted in life….my dream was in my pocket and I was creating all sorts of barriers that kept me from focusing on my big dream.

So today….I will hit reset and re-identify with my heart and begin again…..looking at the rainbow and taking action in making my dreams come true.

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