The walls we build up over time, created by hurt feelings and threats to our identity are a barrier to life. The keep others away, but they also lock us in. Preventing us from truly enjoying life and all its wonder.
Pain is actually a gift. It means that you feel. It may seem at times that not feeling would be simpler. Maybe it is simpler. But it is not fulfilling. When we don’t feel the things that hurt the most we just create a vortex of pain that spirals inward and spreads its poison throughout our spirit.
For a long time I buried my feelings. Stuffed them down and tried to drown them. But the damn things float to the surface every. Nothing can contain them for long. Adding more liquid courage was just a crutch that just created a hurricane of emotions that raged under the surface. The pain and sadness erupted as anger and created a shit storm leaving a wake of destruction behind me that hurt me …..and others around me.
Eventually, you just have to rip off the bandaid and let the fury of pent up emotions surface. At first there is the eruption spewing pent up pain. Cry, scream, get help, whatever it takes deal with that pain. Whatever you do…..let it out.
Do not reapply the bandaid. Do not reach for the crutches. Let your spirit cleanse the wound. Let love be the balm the heals the infection. Then, as the flow of pain subsides to an ooze…look at the infection. See it for what it is. Years of feeding the pain what it needed to survive. Letting the hurts of the past mutate and poison your spirit.
Your spirit wants to shine. It wants to bathe you in love and light and bring you joy and happiness. But it can’t if you keep locking in the light under a bandaid protecting your pain.
When we let go of the pain the wall crumbles and allows people to scale the rubble and take your hand and guide you to forgiveness, gratitude and love.
Let love in. Then….love can flow out. The circle of life should be filled with light…the beams of love.