Grief is such a personal journey. It is so easy to judge others as they grieve differently than we do. Think they don’t care as much as we do. Miss as much as we do. Cry as much as we do.
Losing someone that has a special place in your heart and your life leaves a hole that may sluff in over time but will never fill completely. How do you fill that void? Stop the hurting? There is no wrong way or right way. Just your own way.
Reflection of the relationship you had with the person becomes a daily/hourly occurance for awhile. Reconciling with the fact that at some point you have to get your own life back to a place where you function more normally. The person you lost would want that.
They are only a tear away. Eventually I suppose the tears become less frequent and the soft smiles occur as memories become your friend. Holding the person in your heart as you move forward in life.
It seems that the pain can take over your life at times. But I can’t stay in that place. I need to learn to lean into the sorrow and let it go. To do otherwise leaves unfinished business to deal with later.
Healing of any wound is a slow process. But if that wound gets infected with resentment and anger…..that has to ooze out and be cleaned away so that I can heal without a gaping scar.
My journey in grief has thus far taught me that I need to take care of me. I need to learn to say what I need/want without fear and without feeling guilty about it. I have to grieve in my way in my time and make me a priority. I need to find a place I can feel calm and happy again. I need to find the place where soft smiles replace tears. Only I can.