I have always been an introvert …..that struggled socially.
I suppose that is why I used alcohol excessively for many years. Alcohol enable me to ‘Step off the Ledge’. It took me out of my insecure introverted space and made me the life of the party. Funny, witty, chatty.
I have learned over the years that …..alcohol is not the answer to my social awkwardness. It is a mask. The person that I am when I am drinking….is not me. I am introverted….and I am not insecure about it any more.
The realization that being an introvert came slowly. The acceptance of that facet of my personality took even longer. Now in understanding my authentic way of being I try to work with it instead of overcome it.
Understanding the way I think is just the way I think has helped give me confidence and acceptance.
The tricky part is that there are times when it is necessary to step out of my comfort zone. Times that in order to accomplish a goal ….I need to flex my natural tendency to stay in the background.
I lean on my faith that this challenge has been put in my path for my growth. I don’t hide from it with alcohol any more.
Stepping up to this challenge requires…..many deep breaths! Many quick self pep talks. I remind myself that rejection of my ideas is not a rejection of me. I tell myself that giving a voice to my passions and feelings is part of my journey in life. I remind myself that Everything happens for a reason and the reason that I am being challenged….will show itself in time.
Stepping off the ledge and diving into that mysterious and unknown pool of life …….is living.