One of the hardest things I have had to let go of was the deep seated shame that I felt as an adult over things that happened to me in my youth.
Having the gift of my virginity stolen at 12….and then it seemed I was a magnet for inappropriate attention from men….really men….men my fathers age…adults…
For so many years I felt a deep shame for the results of this attention….Fuck that….
I am not going to throw stones but I do know now that the messages I received as a child about not being wanted and not being loved led to these experiences. OK so I am heaving a rock right now….I need to get it the hell of my back so I am going to heave it and smash it until it is rubble….The deep rage at my mother for instilling that mindset in me was all encompassing….makes it hard for me to even look at her or speak to her…forgiveness I am working on.
I recognize that these experiences are a soul contract and that they are are learning for me ….
They teach me acceptance and compassion and to be kind to others as well as myself as we never know their story …the details of their soul contract ….